Whats with that title anyway?

Why Fluffy you ask? Well it's simple really. According to Gabriel Iglesias' Six Levels of Fat (TM), I am level Fluffy. It's just a much nicer way of saying I'm a fat ass. I'm not bitter about it. It's not anyone's fault but my own. Thirteen years ago I was a healthy weight. I ran three to five miles a day and I lifted weights on a regular basis. I was pretty hot, and I do say so myself. Then I got pregnant and at around month seven all hell broke loose. Fast forward two babies, one marriage, three moves, six years of college, and one nursing license later and I'm a big fat cow. Four years ago I lost seventy pounds and was doing great. Then school got really intense and over four years I gained it all back plus some. So now I'm completely shocked when I look at myself because I no longer recognize the girl in the mirror. My face is fat. My feet are fat. My hands are fat. I even think my ears look fat! It's a problem. My husband says I'm beautiful no matter what but let's face it, he's full of shit. My kids say I'm not fat but let's face it, they're also full of shit. I'm done with this fat crap. I don't go to church anymore because I'm afraid that everyone's looking at me and thinking, "Wow, she really let herself go." I feel guilty counseling my patients on diet, exercise, and healthy living when I look like, well, me. All the other nurses on my unit are at a healthy weight with one exception and though they would never say it, they want me to lose weight too. It would make me a better nurse. It would make me a better mom and frankly I would just be happier not having to worry how I look in my clothes. I'm not even worried about the saggy skin stuff. I'm saving up money now for the lower body lift and boob lift I'm going to need. What I'm really looking forward to is running again. It's impossible for me at my current weight but after dropping about seventy pounds I'll progress from walking to running and be back to my old running schedule in no time.