In Which I Hike and Narrowly Avoid Death by Lightning

Woke up still sick but I thought, "Well hell, I can be sick at home or be sick out enjoying this GORGEOUS day." I chose option B. My husband and I went to "our" trails and hiked for a little over an hour.

This was the view of my favorite trail. Back when I was running I used to LOVE to run on this.

 I figured that since all the kids were in school and the parents at work, we'd have the trails to ourselves (which I prefer). Uh, no. Some LARGE group decided that today was a good day to bring about fifty people to my little state park. >.<  It was okay. They weren't serious hikers so once I got about half a mile into the trail it was clear.

This was the view from the bridge at the 1.5 mile point. My husband and I took a break here to listen to the water run and watch the leaves drift down to the water. It was so peaceful.

I had planned to take it easy on the trail since I still am not feeling well but once I got going I threw that idea out with about a gallon of sweat. Once we got back to the car I paid for it. I was so wiped and I was having a hard time breathing thanks to all the congestion and lung gunk. After we got home I ended up laying down for about an hour. That's all I could rest for though because my boys had soccer tonight. My oldest, Noah, had a game that was going to decide if they had to go to tournament or not. It was a shut out victory for them (3-0).

Noah is in blue. Shortly after this shot he recovered the ball from the green team and kicked it almost all the way to the goal. He's got one hell of a leg on him.

The boys got both coaches with the water jugs. =)

My Noah (right before he took the water jug and dumped it over his coach).

Malachi is a power striker and right after this picture he took that ball straight to the goal.

Sorry. I'm a very proud mother.
So I got a good workout in and my boys dominated on the field. Thankfully Noah's game ended before the light rain coming down turned into the crazy ass storm that's going on right now. Oh well, that's Ohio for you. If you don't like the weather, wait a minute...it'll change. 

I Hate Being Sick

Well I was hoping to be able to post about another workout that went great but....I've been sick as a dog for the last couple of days. It started three days ago but the first day wasn't too bad so that's when I got back on the treadmill. Then it got really bad. I went to work Monday and Tuesday night because I really dislike calling in sick, even when I am (though last night would have been a great night to call in because my husband took my boys to a soccer game at my university and they said it was a GREAT game. My team won of course.) I felt really bad for my patients. Most of them didn't have to see me blowing my nose a hundred times or hear me sneezing just as often, but a few did and they were more concerned about me than they were about themselves. It was awful but I toughed it out through both nights and now I'm completely wiped. Any ideas I had about working out today went into the bin with the first dozen tissues. The good news is I believe tomorrow will be better and I will be able to get at least a moderate workout in.

I Entertain the Cat

Just got finished walking on the treadmill for thirty five minutes. I'm not going to post how fast or how far I went because I'm feeling very proud of myself for working out and that would make me feel rather pathetic. If I want to feel pathetic I can browse my old running logs from my fire school days and have a good cry at how far I've fallen. For now, I will beam with the holy light of accomplishment. I am drenched in sweat and high on endorphins. I have to work the next two night so I don't know if I will be able to get a workout in but I will definitely try as they do help me sleep more soundly. I have NO problems falling asleep about an hour after a workout as long as I follow it up with a nice hot shower.  SN: during my workout my cat Chloe got on the windowsill, put her two front paws on the treadmill and look at me, saying quite clearly, "What the HELL are you doing?" It was most amusing. If I could have gotten a picture of it, it would be my picture on Facebook right now.

Cough, Sniffle, Wheeze

Woke up to more ickiness. Why does this only happen on my days off? (Granted I only work three days a week so that leaves a lot of days off to get sick, but still.) However, I am DETERMINED  to get a work out in today. So much so that I am actually trying to figure out how to move my music playlists from my iPod to my phone since my iPod is glitchy and I can only hear out of one ear when listening to it. I may just settle for Pandora by phone. Regardless I cannot let all the work my darling and I did last night go to waste. Plus, let's face it, it'll entertain my cat.

Sanctuary Un-Earthed

So I did what I said I would. After my husband got home from work we got to work on my disaster of an office. It's SO awesome now. I have my sanctuary back. My office contains my treadmill, weights, spinning wheels, fiber/yarn stash, my books, my computer/printer and my cat. It's the one place I can go and lock myself into and have that all important thing that adults need so greatly...silence.

This is the view from the door. My desk, bookcase, treadmill, and Chloe's bed.

My "new" bookcase. See those first three shelves? Nursing textbooks, knitting, spinning, and soap making books. I throw in some fiction books at the bottom for Chloe to peruse.

This is where the rest of my fiction books, my fiber stash and various exercise implements are now arranged. That brown and black thing? It's holding most of my yarn stash.

I love my new sanctuary. Most of all, I love that I have NO EXCUSES not to exercise now.

Rambling

Today has been very weird, sort of. I woke up to get ready for the boys soccer games and I noticed that my mouth was sore and my gums and tongue were swollen on the left side. Totally weird. I do have food allergies and my husband did put onions (one of my two allergies) in the lasagna last night (it was our "cheat" meal) but he had sauteed them really well and that usually makes it easier on me since my allergy is more of a sensitivity really (and I know because I was an allergy nurse for four years). Apparently not. So I haven't really felt well and I've been sleeping a lot but now I'm up and I have to work on my office tonight after my husband gets home. He bought me a bookshelf a month ago because the closet shelves in the office won't support the weight of all my books and they're all over the floor of my office, making walking in the office difficult and using the treadmill impossible. He put it together and it's ready to go. I just need to put the books on it. I told him I would probably need help with that though because my back has been hurting me a lot lately. It's a combination of  all the weight of my belly and the stress I put on it at work. It's a catch 22 really. I need to use the treadmill to lose the belly weight but my back hurts when I lift the books trying to get to the treadmill. Just fyi, these aren't paperbacks either. They're all my nursing textbooks (yes I kept them and yes I have looked at them since I graduated). I know I'm whining and making excuses. I will get it done and post a picture of how nice it all looks. My husband might not like it though because I will be taking my computer in the office so I can have Pandora up while I work. Hehehehe. No Facebook for him. Well this was a bunch of rambling wasn't it? =)

Healthy is as Healthy Does

People lose weight on a bunch of different programs. Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, you know the rest, and the ever popular calorie counting. Those don't work for me. The only thing that has ever worked for me has been Atkins (low-carb). I already ate tons of vegetables and chicken so nixing the bread and pasta (that made me feel like shit after eating it anyway) just seemed natural. I knew I was addicted to carbs. One look at me and I've got Pre-Diabetic tattooed across my forehead. I wish I could post a picture to prove it but my husband is technically incompetent and incapable of taking a photograph so you'll just have to trust me. I got the usual flack from the usual people (you know, the ones who haven't done their research and simply regurgitate the nutritional crap they learned in health class or their basic college nutrition class), but it didn't take long for me to convince them. When my family physician gave the thumbs up it really shut them up. I'm not saying Atkins is the way everyone needs to go. Healthy eating comes in many disguises. My usual day includes a lot of veggies (steamed or uncooked, occasionally stir-fried, never deep-fried), lean beef, chicken, and a little bit of cheese. I get my carbs from my veggies. I also do a lot of soups (because I LOVES me some soup).  My cholesterol is down. My blood pressure is totally normal now. And most importantly...I'm losing weight. Steadily losing weight. From around my belly (you know, the really-awful-going-to-kill-you, belly fat). My skin in clear. I'm using less sleeping medicine. The plan is working. I'm looking forward to hitting that sixty pound mark so I can safely start running again. For now I'm walking. This is really hard for me because my instinct, and my muscle memory, is telling me to run but I have to tell myself that it's just not time yet. *Sigh*  I will get there. I will get there. I will get there.

Work is Not Good for Healthy Eating. At Least, Not Where I Work.

Like most fat chicks I have triggers that when, um, triggered cause me to basically inhale any form of readily available food within walking distance. Generally speaking this involves carbohydrates and refined sugars. My number one avoid-at-all-possible-costs-because-I'm-heading-straight-for-the-cookies-if-it-happens is fatigue. Good ole fashion run of the mill tiredness. Long nights at work are the worst. I'm an orthopedics nurse and sometimes I go five or six hours before I sit down even once. You'd think this would contribute to my weight loss but given that my number two trigger is stress...not so much. Work is a deadly combination for my good eating habits. Anyone who's ever worked at a hospital can tell you that most nursing stations are also snack spots. On any given night there's chips, M&Ms, cookies, candy, pretty much whatever you want, available for the taking. You get the point. Tired + Stress = No willpower. I'm thankful that I only work three days a week because if I had to work five, I'd NEVER get my act together.

Oh, and I've forgiven my husband. He meant well and I love him dearly.

My Husband Sucks

So today was the first day since I got back on track that I weighed myself and I've lost 5.2lbs. That's a good start! I'm past the sugar cravings and headaches. Now I'm just pissed at my husband. Not for anything directly related to my eating plan, but for bringing my stepson over for the weekend. His presence always means chaos will ensue. The two boys are enough to handle on a daily basis but a third? When I'm trying to get through the first week? NOT helpful. He knew I'd be pissed and I am. So screw him. On a not-so-bitchy note I colored my hair for the first time in four years. Normally my hair is this completely boring, nondescript shade of dark blonde. Now it is a medium chestnut color. I feel inspired by fall. 

Mmmmm...Queso.

It's been three days back on track and I'm feeling good. Today was the toughest so far and tomorrow will be worse but after that I'll be sugar free and all will be well. I have no energy today because I worked the last three days. I love that I only work three days a week. I do not love working all three back to back. It's exhausting. Twelve hour shifts are great for getting work done but don't allow time for spending time with family or getting any exercise outside of work. My husband has decided that he is also going to change his diet with me. He has about fifty pounds to lose and though he looks great, because he's so tall and broad that you can't really tell he's carry much extra weight, his back is really bothering him. It was also really cold today. Well, cold for me. I have hypothyroidism so I am very sensitive to cold. (And you thought fat chicks were hot all the time.) We were at the soccer fields for the boys' games and we nearly froze our ample tails off. Rude as this may sound, I was looking around and found that I was glad to see that I wasn't the fattest of the soccer moms. Then my husband took us to Applebees for dinner and I had a salad, some classic bone-in wings, and grilled chicken in spicy queso blanco (that's spanish for "white cheese," in case you didn't know). It was delicious and totaled about 15 net carbs so I'm good for the day now. Tomorrow will be the first day I weigh myself since getting back on track and I'm looking forward to seeing how much I've lost.

Whats with that title anyway?

Why Fluffy you ask? Well it's simple really. According to Gabriel Iglesias' Six Levels of Fat (TM), I am level Fluffy. It's just a much nicer way of saying I'm a fat ass. I'm not bitter about it. It's not anyone's fault but my own. Thirteen years ago I was a healthy weight. I ran three to five miles a day and I lifted weights on a regular basis. I was pretty hot, and I do say so myself. Then I got pregnant and at around month seven all hell broke loose. Fast forward two babies, one marriage, three moves, six years of college, and one nursing license later and I'm a big fat cow. Four years ago I lost seventy pounds and was doing great. Then school got really intense and over four years I gained it all back plus some. So now I'm completely shocked when I look at myself because I no longer recognize the girl in the mirror. My face is fat. My feet are fat. My hands are fat. I even think my ears look fat! It's a problem. My husband says I'm beautiful no matter what but let's face it, he's full of shit. My kids say I'm not fat but let's face it, they're also full of shit. I'm done with this fat crap. I don't go to church anymore because I'm afraid that everyone's looking at me and thinking, "Wow, she really let herself go." I feel guilty counseling my patients on diet, exercise, and healthy living when I look like, well, me. All the other nurses on my unit are at a healthy weight with one exception and though they would never say it, they want me to lose weight too. It would make me a better nurse. It would make me a better mom and frankly I would just be happier not having to worry how I look in my clothes. I'm not even worried about the saggy skin stuff. I'm saving up money now for the lower body lift and boob lift I'm going to need. What I'm really looking forward to is running again. It's impossible for me at my current weight but after dropping about seventy pounds I'll progress from walking to running and be back to my old running schedule in no time.