Idle Hands

While this blog is not meant to be only a weight loss blog, I have found that like most people my weight and my journey to slim down and get healthy impacts every area of my life. It takes me longer to get going in the morning (well, morning for ME, which is afternoon for everyone else). The decision to go out is more involved because I struggle with what to wear that will minimize the appearance of how big I am. Work is harder for me because I have to do the same stuff as everyone else and do it carrying around an extra 175 pounds. My co-workers don't care that I get tired more easily or that by halfway through the shift my back is aching. They just care that I get my work done so they're not doing their work plus mine, and there is nothing wrong with that. My weight is not their fault, nor should it be their responsibility. Being a good mom is harder because I can't keep up with my kids. I just don't have the energy, even after losing some weight. My marriage is affected because I constantly feel like I'm unattractive and therefore feel like I could lose my husband to someone thinner and prettier at any moment (though he repeatedly and vehemently denies this). He has told me he wants me to lose weight because I'm not healthy and he's been honest about finding me more attractive at my pre-baby weight, though at the same time he is afraid I want to lose too much and will be too skinny. Men, go figure. I believe I have finally gotten the whole mindless eating thing under control by just keeping my hands and mind busy. I used to just read all the time, but I've found that reading alone is too conducive to eating. Now I do things that can multitask. Like knitting. I've been a knitter for five years and I'm fairly accomplished. I've fair-isled. I've intarsia-ed. I've felted. I've steeked. I've designed and knit sweaters, socks, hats, and mittens. I have a lovely stash that continues to grow. I love my knitting. I now pair my knitting with audiobooks and podcasts and have found that I can go hours without eating as long as I have plenty of Diet Cherry Coke and water. About four and a half years ago I learned how to spin and now have not one but two spinning wheels. Spinning is great too. Between the two you'd think I'd never get bored, but after a lot of either I need a break (and my hands do too!) so my brother introduced me to World of Warcraft, an online game that allows me to keep my hands busy and also have some human interaction since it's multiplayer.  People make fun of people who do all of those things because of common misconceptions but they've been a life saver for me. Your whole day can't be just about what you're going to eat and when you will work out. You work out, you eat right, and then you (well, I) have to find ways to amuse yourself that don't involve a lot of driving around (my husband has the car most of the time), eating, or watching TV.  My house stays fairly clean because I'm a veritable Nazi about the kids picking up after themselves and since they're old enough, they contribute to the household by doing things like light vacuuming, doing the dishes, and folding and putting away their laundry. So that's what I do to keep myself busy. Moral of the story? Meh, I don't have one. I just had to keep my hands busy.