I Watch Workout Shows

Okay I admit it. I watch workout shows on TV and don't do the workouts. Loser, I know, but hear me out. I've been "on a diet" as long as I can remember. I didn't need to be until after two pregnancies, but my mom was a very overweight child, who became a very overweight teenager, who's parents tried to make up for their horrendous parenting with horses, cars, and lots of food. Then they were embarrassed by my mom's weight so they signed for her to have an earlier, less severe version of a gastric bypass, and she lost a ton of weight. She'd already met my dad who was blown away by her beauty (and my mom has ALWAYS been abso-friggin-loutely GORGEOUS), and after three weeks of dating he decided that he would not re-up for a new tour in the Army, but would instead marry mom, go to college, and go back in the Army as an officer. So that's what's he did, but I digress. In the midst of all this goodness my mom was completely miserable over her weight and since she was underage, my grandparents had to signed for her surgery. After her surgery she married my dad and has been on a diet for the last thirty-three years. My earliest memory related to my weight was when I was in kindergarten. I was supposed to play a bumblebee in the school play and I told my mom I didn't want to because I thought the costume made me look fat. I did NOT have a weight problem as a child. In fact I was on the scrawny side until puberty gave me some curves. My mom thought it was cute that I was concerned about my weight (don't blame her, she didn't know any better). She never realized that her constant obsession with HER weight and HER constantly being on whatever diet was in fashion at the time, translated to ME being obsessed with MY weight and being on whatever diet was in fashion at the time. Consequently I've been on every diet that there was ever an infomercial for, really popular book for, Oprah toted, or that ever appeared on Phil Donahue (remember him?!?). Even in my rebellious teenage years when I decided that I wasn't going to obsess over my weight and conform to society's idea of "beauty" (translation= wild hair colors, piercings, tattoos, and really funky clothes) I secretly obsessed over my weight. I ditched hanging out and partying with my anti-establishment friends, washed off all that goth makeup, took out the piercings, pulled the purple hair up under my Nike running hat, threw on my Asics, and hit the treadmill or the gym. I never worried about running into them there because, let's face it, there'd be snow in Hell before they'd even think about working out. Oddly enough, my mom would frequently join me in my workouts and I was okay with this. Another thing we did was watch workout shows together. We never did the workouts. Just watched. Usually it was just motivation to us both to stay on our diets and stick to our workouts, but it was also time we spent laughing together (c'mon, most of them are funny to watch) and we didn't have to be the bitchy teenage daughter and the domineering mother. Today I got up, turned on the TV and soon found myself watching Gilead. I told myself it was only because he was on before A Baby Story, but I know that's bunk. I wanted that extra motivation for my workout this morning, and later I'm going to call my mom and we'll laugh about me watching it. My mom has always had to battle her weight, even with the surgery and recently got back down to a healthy weight and a normal BMI after losing over seventy pounds in a year. She's my best motivator and my biggest fan. Every pound I lose is important to her and she loves to cheer me on. I also told her that I'm not moving to California until I reach a healthy weight so she has LOTS of motivation to cheer me on. My treadmill is fixed again so my plan today is pretty simple. I'm going to do a couple of miles on the treadmill. Do my stretching routine. Do a simple upper body weight routine.  Then I will probably knit, nap, knit some more and eat healthy. Sounds like a pretty good day to me!